Posts Tagged ‘shit my wife says’


Whoever wins, we, uh…nevermind

October 24, 2011

Me: We never saw Cowboys and Aliens.
Wife: I want to see that too! Cowboys vs. Aliens!
Me: Was there a “versus”? I don’t think so.
Wife: I would see Cowboys and Aliens vs. Predator.
Me: Cowboys, Aliens, and Predator vs. The Volcano.
Wife: Cowboys, Aliens, Predator and the Volcano … vs. Kramer.


Drinking on the Internet

May 9, 2011

My wife:

“You’ll never drink alone, as long as you have The Internet.”


My wife, on the subject of my cellular phone

April 26, 2011

“Wow, that’s an old phone. It’s like…a cuneiphone.”


Data are the original huddled masses, yearning to be free.

February 3, 2011

‘Google Voice transcribed “Bilhah Schneider” as “Betty Shines”. It’s like ellis island in there!’

– The Wife


New barometer for when you’re losing your edge

May 26, 2010

Via an email from the missus:

“on another note: do you have any Vampire Weekend albums? D. mentioned that he was interested in hearing them. (Apparently Dm. (his 5 yr old) told him they need to get it…)”


My fiancĂ©e, to me

May 7, 2008

“I don’t have a fear of commitment. I have a COMMITMENT TO FEAR!!”