Posts Tagged ‘shit my wife says’

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Whoever wins, we, uh…nevermind

October 24, 2011

Me: We never saw Cowboys and Aliens.
Wife: I want to see that too! Cowboys vs. Aliens!
Me: Was there a “versus”? I don’t think so.
Wife: I would see Cowboys and Aliens vs. Predator.
Me: Cowboys, Aliens, and Predator vs. The Volcano.
.
.
Wife: Cowboys, Aliens, Predator and the Volcano … vs. Kramer.

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Drinking on the Internet

May 9, 2011

My wife:

“You’ll never drink alone, as long as you have The Internet.”

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My wife, on the subject of my cellular phone

April 26, 2011

“Wow, that’s an old phone. It’s like…a cuneiphone.”

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Data are the original huddled masses, yearning to be free.

February 3, 2011

‘Google Voice transcribed “Bilhah Schneider” as “Betty Shines”. It’s like ellis island in there!’

– The Wife

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New barometer for when you’re losing your edge

May 26, 2010

Via an email from the missus:

“on another note: do you have any Vampire Weekend albums? D. mentioned that he was interested in hearing them. (Apparently Dm. (his 5 yr old) told him they need to get it…)”

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My fiancĂ©e, to me

May 7, 2008

“I don’t have a fear of commitment. I have a COMMITMENT TO FEAR!!”